by matt low
A week ago, the fastest copywriter in Western New York, Mr. Chris Muldoon, went on a semi-rant about an egotistical hybrid owner. My friend argued that if you drove an environmentally friendly car, the car itself lets people know how intelligent you are and you don’t need to brag.
Well, today, I too found myself behind a Prius. Except mine was driven by a man who seemed determined to tout just how unintelligent he is.
First and foremost, the owner of the vehicle had a sticker on the trunk that resembled three claws which looked as if they belonged to some sort of beast contained inside the trunk. Essentially, the man would have you believe he has a polar bear or some other white-pawed creature inside his car and said creature was trying to get out. Why would he want you to think this? Um, yeah, I have no idea.
Next, he had a personalized license plate that said more than just “I’m looking for attention in what may be the most annoying way imaginable” (which is what all personalized plates say). The message was “GOTVOLTS.” This can only be a reference to the now infamous-to-the-point-of-evil “Got Milk?” headline. But considering the “VOLTS” half of it, I’m guessing the guy is an electrician. Right? Who knows?
And finally, the guy had an Opie and Anthony “WOW” bumper sticker in his rear window –which almost certainly stands for “Wow, you are incredibly sad to have placed this item on your automobile.” Now, listening to that mean-spirited frat boy drivel is a sin in and of itself, but placing a sticker supporting it on your car is just deplorable. Having two such stickers is grounds for execution. Having three, well, almost cancels everything else out, as I suddenly feel extremely sorry for the primate operating this motor vehicle. I’m sort of shocked he’s able to drive at all. I’m further shocked he remembers to breathe.
I’ve completely lost my train of thought.
Oh, yeah. I guess my point is that it really doesn’t matter what one’s stance on the environment is or the choice they make regarding their vehicle. Jerks are jerks. So why not go a little easier on the ones trying to guilt others into following their own environmentally-smart lead. Even if they are jerks about it. Or don’t. Who cares?