Crowley Webb Blog

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

A bad billboard. A good billboard. A bad billboard in a good place.

Happy birthday, the Crowley Webb blog.

by matt low

So it’s been near a year since the Crowley Webb blog came into existence and boy, have we been on some exciting adventures together. We’ve met new employees. We’ve learned about Chris Muldoon’s running victories (and harrowing experiences with nasty dog owners). We’ve viewed some good commercials. We’ve viewed some bad ones. We’ve laughed. We’ve sighed in aggravation. Yes – it’s been some year.

And now, on this, our baby blog’s birthday, we invite you to join us in singing to our blog as it sits wide-eyed by birthday candlelight. Snap pictures as it clumsily mangles a special cake made just for it. Offer it a special gift of your choice – preferably a bond, that our blog will no doubt cash in prior to maturity on a car simply to make all of its blog friends jealous. Oh, the Crowley Webb blog – will you ever learn?

I give this contest two thumbs up.

by chris muldoon

Have you ever wanted to leave an indelible mark on the world’s history? Do you yearn to go where no human has dared to go before? Well here’s your chance, and all you have to risk is blurred vision, delirium, and possibly a newfound aversion to Tom Hanks.

I’m speaking, of course, about the Netflix Movie Watching World Championship: The Quest for the Popcorn Bowl. This is one of those things where you say, “Hey, that sounds like a lot of fun” – right until you read how absolutely insane it is. For me, that point was finding out one of the contestants will be none other than Ashish Sharma, the current Guinness World Record holder for most consecutive movies watched. His record? 121 hours. That’s only 56 full-featured films. Straight. Including opening and closing credits.

But don’t worry, the competition isn’t completely cruel. Contestants (or endurance enthusiasts, as they prefer to be called) will be allowed to take a 10-minute break after every movie. That’s just enough time to puke your brains out after the combination of sleep deprivation and Caddyshack II. And since safety is always the number one concern in the competitive movie watching scene, medical professionals will be on hand to "monitor the contestants’ conditions throughout the event and assess if they are truly ‘watching’ or simply staring blankly at the screen.”

Good to know it’s going to be a fair fight. You can read all about the NMWWC:TQFTPB at the event’s official facebook page. And be sure to check out the videos, because there’s nothing more riveting than watching a movie about a person watching a movie.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

In the wake of Hyundai’s decision to break it off with their agency Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, I was reminded of a campaign I really liked. Which, ironically, is said to be one of the reasons for the split. According to AdAge.com, “Hyundai dealers were unhappy with Goodby's cerebral ‘Think About It’ campaign.” Ugh. That just makes me so mad. It was such a smart campaign. And apparently effective, too.

I’m sure they would have liked it a lot more, if instead of there being an idea, there was just an inflatable dinosaur. And balloons. Lots and lots of balloons.

Anyway, I thought the stuff was great. Here are some of the commercials.

1.2.3.4

I am not a Mac or a PC.

by Pete Reiling

After the abortive “Bill and Jerry” series, Microsoft has unveiled the next phase in their rebranding campaign. The “I’m a PC” spots, created by agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky, directly answer Apple’s long-standing, highly successful “I’m a PC and I’m a Mac” ads.

Except they don’t.

What Crispin has done, using the kind of strawman assault beloved by belligerent talk radio hosts, is respond to Apple's portrayal of PC users as boring and out of touch. The only hitch is, Apple has made no such portrayal of PC users.

Think about it. What does the charmingly clueless John Hodgeman actually say in the Apple commercials? “I’m a PC user”? No. He says, “I’m a PC.” This is meant literally. He is an anthropomorphized computer, not a stereotyped computer user. Apple is not saying that people who use PCs are hopelessly lame, they’re saying that PCs are.

I’m sure the people at Crispin are fully aware of this distinction, but felt comfortable assuming that most people wouldn't see it. And this assumption was central as they began their bold counterattack against charges that Apple never actually made.

In the interest of full disclosure, I think I’d rather cook and eat my own dog than trade in my Mac for a Windows computer, so I was never rooting for Microsoft in this ad fight. But I’m a huge fan of Crispin, and on some level I did want to see them do the impossible and make Microsoft cool.

But a montage of colorful and diverse talking heads looking to the camera and proudly proclaiming “I am (product name here)”? I’ve seen it. Lots of times. That Crispin’s version of this advertising warhorse is really well executed isn’t surprising, given the talent and budgets involved. But it isn’t exactly a big idea. Or a new one.

Ultimately, it feels like the attempt of an dull, stodgy brand to whip up some defiant resentment against a hip, “elitist” one. Which is vaguely reminiscent of another campaign going on this fall. I wonder if subtly deceptive advertising will be used in that one, too.

The end of times?

by matt low

No, I’m not talking about the recent rash of tropical storms, or the downward financial spiral of our country. Sure, that’s bad and all. But I’m speaking specifically about the return of the free credit report dot com demon.

Yes, he’s back, and he’s got more to tell you about his sad little life.

This time, we find our curly-haired fiend spewing about how he married his dream girl who had poor credit so now they’re living in her mom and dad’s basement. His suburban dreams are squashed, his life is ruined, all because of her bad credit. If only he had known her score beforehand, he never would have bought her a ring that they have no doubt since pawned. Let this be a lesson to all you people out there fumbling through relationships – don’t fall in love with someone with questionable credit.

Moving on.

The next installment features our songstress rambling on about how gas prices are so high he had to trade in his subcompact for a bike, but his credit was bad, so he was forced to get a crappy bike. Wait a minute, what’s this? A reference (“ditched my new subcompact”) to a previous commercial in the campaign?

Well, this throws the entire free credit report dot com universe into question.

If these are all supposed to be the same guy, then why didn’t he learn the first time? Wouldn’t he know his credit is poor before trying to buy a bike? (Who takes a loan out to buy a bike, by the way? So he has bad credit and a terrible income? What are they paying him at that seafood place? Maybe he has bad credit because of his terrible income.) Wouldn’t his bad credit also contribute to why he is living in his in-law’s cellar? How can he just blame his dream girl for his horrid condition? She puts up with his hateful singing, for crying out loud. Does any of this make sense?

No. It’s a moronic television campaign for a scammy company.

But go ahead. Tell me the songs are catchy. Tell me the commercials are memorable enough to get me to write about them. Go as far as to get your credit report from free credit report dot com, even if it’s just to spite me. I will tell you this – you may not be paying for your credit report with cash, but you’ll certainly pay with your soul. Good day.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday (As Posted On A Tuesday).

by Liz Maimone

Wondering what you should eat for lunch tomorrow? Not sure if you should have an affair with your secretary? There’s no need to figure out life’s problems yourself, not when you can have Don Draper do it for you. That’s right Mad Men fans, What Would Don Draper Do? is an interesting little website where questions are answered in true Don Draper fashion. It seems to me like they make the questions up, but apparently you can submit your own, so I can’t really say. Either way, I like it. There’s even bits of “wisdom” mixed in between the questions. And in case you were wondering, 35 and 38 are two of my favorites. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I think these illustrations by Dyna Moe are pretty neato too. 

P.S. If you’re not watching Mad Men, you should be. Trust me, I have great taste in television. After all, I never missed a single episode of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.

“Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy…”

by Cindy Hennessey

Erin in Media told me about a story she heard on NPR this morning. The Museum of the Moving Image has a website called "The Living Room Candidate" that's an archive of political ads from 1952 to 2008. Museum curator David Schwartz told NPR, “Early political ads were innocent, sweet and straightforward — with the candidates just talking to the camera.” Ads got a little more sophisticated in 1960, he said, when John F. Kennedy ran against Richard Nixon. The ads for JFK were snappier and more visual, while the Nixon ads were all about experience and knowing what to do during tough times. Watch the ads and you’ll see what he means.

I have to admit, I was particularly intrigued by the Kennedy/Nixon ads because of the AMC show, Mad Men. For the uninitiated, Mad Men, which is set in the early 1960s, is about a prestigious Madison Avenue advertising firm, Sterling Cooper. Last season, Sterling Cooper worked on the Nixon campaign.

Looking at all these ads is a fascinating history lesson in advertising. You can even view what the website calls “the most famous of all campaign commercials” – the “Daisy Girl” ad, created by Doyle Dane Berbach for Lyndon Johnson in 1964. Funny enough, the ad never mentioned Johnson's opponent, Barry Goldwater. Instead, it showed a little girl picking petals off a daisy before the camera cut to a nuclear explosion and the ensuing mushroom cloud. The ad ran only once.

The Adventures Of Seinfeld And Bill Gates Part 2.

by matt low

Here it is. More Jerry and Bill. More clues. More everything. It's four and a half minutes long, for crying out loud. 

You are two things: creepy and awesome.

by matt low

I have to admit, I like where the Old Spice brand has been going the last year or so. Bruce Campbell at a piano singing Duran Duran, Neil Patrick Harris offering pretend medical advice, and that one in which they show how the deodorant actually puts hair on your chest – it’s all good. Rather than resorting to simply presenting more half-naked women with bust sizes bigger than their IQs as so many men’s health and beauty product brands have done to sell their products, Old Spice has taken the high road. Or the odd road, if you will.

Enter the centaur. They’ve brought the mythical creature straight into the bathroom to hawk their body wash that’s also a moisturizer. It’s two things in one, get it? They do too. And they play it wonderfully cool throughout the spot. They’ve even put up a website in which you yourself can create the sin against nature of your choice. Sure, it’s unnerving, but it’s delightfully original – especially for the category.

So keep it up Old Spice, bearing in mind that most (as in 98%) of your audience is still most likely motivated by half-naked women with bust sizes bigger than their IQs. 

Ah, there’s nothing like a consumerist society.

by chris muldoon

When Tommy Jefferson & Co. penned the Declaration of Independence, I’m sure the whole “pursuit of happiness” part was a direct reference to this – the BBQ Sword. If you don’t believe me, just read its stunning description.

In days gone by noblemen would cook their brats, burgers and chops by skewering them upon their trusty swords and plunging them into a raging fire. Or did we just make that up?

I really, really hope not.

Who cares, because the magnificently silly BBQ Sword allows you to do exactly that. Well, sort of.

All I can say is – finally!

This brilliant BBQ accessory is actually a twin-pronged fork fashioned to resemble a musketeer-style sword.

Wait, are you serious? It’s really just a fancy fork? I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that part.

It even comes with a cut-out cardboard mask so you can spear treacherous chicken thighs and impale all the king's hot dogs without revealing your true identity.

I’ve always wanted to know how Zorro feels when he grills.

It keeps going, but I’m too busy typing in my credit card information. On a somewhat related note, can our economy really be in that bad of shape when The Condiment Gun is sold out? God bless America.

Jerry Seinfeld helps Bill Gates purchase shoes.

by matt low

If you have watched any television at all lately, you were most likely treated to Microsoft’s latest branding effort. You had to have noticed it, not only because it prominently featured Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld!) but because it was an outrageous minute and a half long. A minute and a half – six times longer than what is now an acceptable length for a television commercial. And I have to say, I was genuinely captivated for the entire 90 seconds. I even sort of liked it.

It’s a pretty ridiculous premise – which I dug. Jerry happens upon Bill Gates of all zillionaires, attempting to buy a pair of shoes (at a discount store, no less). Jerry helps Bill break-in what will be his new pair of shoes. Jerry tells Bill the benefits of showering with clothes on. Jerry asks Bill if computers will one day be cake-like and edible. Fade to logo. Ridiculous.

Watching this for the first time surrounded by friends who responded with the inevitable “what the ef?” I was immediately reminded of an article I had read in Fast Company magazine a few months back. The article concerned Microsoft handing over its new consumer-branding campaign to Crispin Porter + Bogusky. Bogusky was featured on the cover of the issue with the headline, “Can this dude make Microsoft cool?”

At first, I was ready to say, “sure.” I mean, I thought the spot was pretty cool. It featured quirky dialogue and nothing even close to product mention until most television spots would have been out twice over. So, sure, the spot was cool. But, then I got to thinking – does Microsoft really want to be cool? Hasn’t Mac pretty much cornered the market on cool? I mean, I liked the spot and got what they were trying to do (sort of), but I’m a Mac user. I’m not going to switch just because Jerry Seinfeld helped Bill Gates into a pair of shoes. Nor would this episode be the reason my mother buys a PC when her Dell finally dies. She just will.

Cool or not, I’m not sure where Crispin Porter + Bogusky and Microsoft are headed with this. I mean, the question I have isn’t “Why is Bill Gates shopping for shoes?”, “Why is Jerry Seinfeld in a mall?”, or even “Why does Jerry shower with clothes on?” No. It’s more or less, why is Microsoft doing this sort of brand advertising? The answer is about as clear as why a footwear retailer would dub itself “Shoe Circus!”.