Crowley Webb Blog

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

This past weekend a bunch of us got together to participate in Brush Up Buffalo. This is the 8th year we’ve assembled a team for this worthy cause. If you’re not familiar, basically it goes like this: families in need apply to have their house painted free of charge. Then, us volunteers get together on a Saturday and scrape and repaint about 20 houses all before I’d usually be getting up. It gives the family a sense of pride. It gives the community enhanced curb appeal. And it helps increase the value of the homes in the neighborhood. Not to mention it helps me not feel like a horrible person. It’s a good thing no matter how you look at it.

This year, we partnered with the team from M&T Bank. They were friendly, efficient, and extremely knowledgeable in wholesale mortgages. What more could you ask for from a bunch of people who gave up their Saturday to paint a stranger’s house?

Compared to the house next door, we didn’t have it too bad. In fact, from what I’m told, we even finished ahead of schedule. And let me just say, the love we gave to that back porch was second to none, people.

It was a good day. And now I don’t have to do anything nice again until at least Thursday.

  

 

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Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Somebody please kill me. Just beat me over the head with this God forsaken piece of nonsense.

I don’t know if I’m more upset that there’s now a stick to assist in wiping your butt, or the fact that I’m confident at least one person I know will buy it. And when they do, I will disown them on the spot. I don’t care if we’re in a crowded Denny’s. Or it’s my own mother. This can’t be forgiven the way buying a Snuggie can.

Unless you have a medial condition that prevents you from doing so, I just can’t fathom why anyone could possibly need a toilet paper baton to wipe their own behind. Seriously, people.

I think my favorite part of their little television masterpiece is when the crazy lady refers to toilet paper as “archaic.” This just in: you still have to use ole fashion wiping paper with the Comfort Wipe. And to think we’ve been wasting all our time trying to cure things like cancer. And then there’s Mr. Large And In Charge. He makes me chuckle. I wish he had saved his $19.99 to buy something useful. Like a subscription to Hustler. Or ten Hot Pockets.

Oh, America, how I love you and hate you at the very same time.

I’m sure no one else gives a crap about this.

by Liz Maimone

I don’t know if this commercial for Alamo really plays every time I turn the TV on, or if it’s just because it bugs me so much that I notice every time it’s on, but either way I wish someone would make it stop.

Have you ever just looked at someone and not liked them? Yes it’s as mean as it sounds, but that’s honestly how I feel about the girl in this spot. I think it’s the latter half of her little “you had me at no lines” joke that sends me right over the edge. C’mon, you know you’re curious.

Is it just me, or is her delivery so incredibly off? It’s all I notice. It’s so bizarre, it seems like a mistake because it’s so bad. I’m not trying to sound like I have any business critiquing comedy or acting or whatever, but I do have ears. I just don’t get it. How could that have possibly been the best take?

You better believe the only circumstance under which I’d ever rent a car from those clowns is if it was to run that chick off a bridge. That, or they were the cheapest. Hey, I’m not proud.

I have very sophisticated taste in television shows.

by Chris Muldoon

People embarrassing themselves for money. Commentary choke-full of innuendos and bad puns. The token hot chick. When you think about it, what’s not to love about ABC’s game show Wipeout? I mean, nothing screams class like participants taking on “The Big Balls.” If you haven’t witnessed this hour-long train wreck, you’re definitely missing out. Basically a rip-off of Spike TV’s Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (which was a complete rip-off of an 80s Japanese show), Wipeout collects a bunch of borderline psychopaths, and let’s them loose on a variety of absurd obstacle courses.

Just watch a few minutes of this season’s premiere. You may initially scoff at the mindlessness of it all, but dollars to donuts you won’t be able to turn away. There has to be some psychological term for our innate interest in watching another human being get thrown around like a rag doll. Seriously, how are these people not seriously injured? ABC must have one heck of a liability waiver. And such torture must warrant a handsome reward, right? Well, $50,000 is certainly no chump change, but after taxes, I’m not sure if it’s worth getting physically annihilated on national TV. But God bless the people that do, because otherwise I’d have to read a book or something.

Not only does he have terrible credit, he is apparently out of a job.

by matt low

It seems as though the geniuses at freecreditreport.com have finally retired the singing ne’er-do-well. Lucky for us, they’ve replaced him with a furniture-ruining, child-attacking, carpet-staining number mutant. Wonderful.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Over the weekend, I saw GM’s new “reinvention” commercial. They filed for bankruptcy protection just last week, so I figured we’d see something in the way of advertising soon enough.

I’ve heard/read a lot of people criticize the fact that they’re spending money on advertising given their situation.  But here’s my thinking:  if they really are going to restructure, and not just fall off the face of the earth, it seems like the worst thing they could do is just go away. Say nothing. I think when people are curious – talking about what they hear on the news – is when you need to say something the most. Tell them things you hope they'll repeat.

I mean I don’t know every detail of the situation, and I’m certainly not out to defend GM. I don’t even really feel strongly about it either way.

I just really like the commercial.

For me, the message is about as good as it can get. Sure, not everyone’s going to believe you. I’m not even sure I do. But maybe that’s not even the point. I know I feel a little better about GM today, after seeing the spot, than I did last week. It could just be because I think the writing is excellent, I can’t say for sure. All I know is, for whatever reason, if one TV commercial can change your perception, even just a little, it seems like money well spent. Even if it’s not theirs.

Corporate Challenge proving to be anything but.

It was one of those blisteringly cold January afternoons when the snow was falling for what seemed like the 108^th consecutive day and most average people found even walking to their car a harrowing experience. But what we’re learning around Crowley Webb is that Chris Muldoon is far from average. While most of us were wrapped in thick sweaters, huddled around steamy soups at our desks on this day, he was quietly jogging in place in front our elevator waiting to get outside for his usual midday run. Wearing a tiny skull cap, gloves, and a those thin stretchy pants runners are forced to wear when it’s anywhere below 20, Chris must have seemed eccentric to anyone passing him in our lobby.

Flash forward five months. Chris Muldoon won his third consecutive Chase Corporate Challenge last night. He doesn’t seem so wacky now, does he?

On a beautifully sunny Western New York evening with the temperature at least 45 degrees above 20, Chris Muldoon crossed the finish line in Delaware Park after a mere 17 minutes and 24 seconds. The next runner, a good friend of Chris, didn’t cross for another 24 seconds. In a race like this, that’s an eternity.

And it’s not like Chris wasn’t feeling the pressure this year. On the contrary, after winning the last two, his mug was plastered on every Crowley Webber’s chest. That is, except his own. Mr. Fancypants needed a shirt made of a special material. Either that, or he just felt weird running wearing a picture of himself running. Who wouldn’t?

No matter the attire, Chris Muldoon has undoubtedly solidified his position as the undisputed fastest copywriter in Western New York. Way to go, Chris. 

Liz Maimone likes this.

by Mammy Miami

Ahhh, the joys of working in advertising. You’re a weirdo if you don’t swear, there’s no such thing as sexual harassment, and spending 4 hours at a coffee shop is completely acceptable, if not encouraged. But the best perk, one I hadn’t even appreciated until now, is your freedom to facebook without getting fired. I can’t imagine having a job that interfered with status updates and knowing what my friends I don’t talk to in real life are up to. Hey, sometimes you just need to know what Disney character you are, even if it is 2:30 on a Tuesday afternoon. I’ve got to say, never in my life have I been happier that I suck at math and science. Something tells me my brother who works at Boeing isn’t sitting at his desk blogging about deep fried Twinkies. Sucka.

Reality outgrosses theory once again.

by matt low

While Muldoon is busy running, the rest of American is doing stuff like this. Posting this seemed like a good idea since Liz blogged about the site and I blogged about the Domino’s abomination. “Seemed” being the operative word, as now I just want to vomit and cry.

It’s the most aerobically taxing time of the year.

by Chris Muldoon

Happy National Running Day, blog readers. What, you forgot to get me something? Don’t worry, running is the gift that keeps on giving. And makes you sweaty.

One individual that should be barred from the festivities is James Coleman. Why the hate? Maybe it’s because he was jogging to work one morning, and thought, “Hey this would be a great time to update my Twitter.” Everything was going swimmingly until he smashed his face off a tree branch. Idiot.

Apparently, the usual running obstacles weren’t daunting enough for Mr. Coleman – bad drivers, dogs, jerks yelling “Run, Forrest, run,” worse drivers, people walking obliviously out of buildings, car doors, uneven sidewalks, water bottle-throwing teenagers, wannabe Lance Armstrongs, crazy people who flip out if you step on one blade of grass in their lawn, and, my personal favorite, drivers honking for no reason.

But I digress. Today is a joyous holiday. Enjoy it. Lace up the old running shoes and go for a jog. Ron Burgundy thinks it’s pretty wild. Just watch out for those tree branches – I hear they come out of nowhere.

Meet the obnoxious talking automobiles. (Again.)

by matt low

Some might say I have an irrational, unhealthy dislike for the talking Volkswagen ads. A hatred, if you will. I mean, to be fair, this is the third time I’ve blogged about it. But seriously, I can’t help myself. And, to be fair to me, this new iteration of the campaign is actually worse than its predecessors.

Here, we find the autos living in a neighborhood and interacting with their humanoid inhabitants. These neighbors learn all about how Volkswagens are great from both the classic Beetle with a new voice and the seemingly intoxicated Van. We’re treated to a cute little audio sting that makes me want to put my face through a windshield and we’re out.

I guess the reason I’m so irked by this campaign – other than the fact that it seems like the spots are always on – is the brand’s persistence. VW advertising used to be hip. Remember that Nick Drake spot? Then it got weird and unfunny. Now it’s less weird and more unfunny. And I can’t stand it.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

This totally makes me want a nerdy boyfriend.