by Chris Muldoon
Happy National Running Day, blog readers. What, you forgot to get me something? Don’t worry, running is the gift that keeps on giving. And makes you sweaty.
One individual that should be barred from the festivities is James Coleman. Why the hate? Maybe it’s because he was jogging to work one morning, and thought, “Hey this would be a great time to update my Twitter.” Everything was going swimmingly until he smashed his face off a tree branch. Idiot.
Apparently, the usual running obstacles weren’t daunting enough for Mr. Coleman – bad drivers, dogs, jerks yelling “Run, Forrest, run,” worse drivers, people walking obliviously out of buildings, car doors, uneven sidewalks, water bottle-throwing teenagers, wannabe Lance Armstrongs, crazy people who flip out if you step on one blade of grass in their lawn, and, my personal favorite, drivers honking for no reason.
But I digress. Today is a joyous holiday. Enjoy it. Lace up the old running shoes and go for a jog. Ron Burgundy thinks it’s pretty wild. Just watch out for those tree branches – I hear they come out of nowhere.
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