Crowley Webb Blog

The constant struggle.

by matt low

Here’s a clever notion for all you Frankenstein’s monster’s plastic head manufacturers with product on your hands that you just can’t seem to move. Package each with a pair of hands and market the set as lawn decorations – you know, as if Frankenstein’s monster is menacingly emerging from the consumer’s lawn. What fun!

Oh, wait. That idea is taken. And it’s a terrible one.

Now, I’ve encountered some logic-defying Halloween decorations over the years. Just visit the seasonal section of any local retailer. But really, this one just may take the orange and black Funfetti. Are we supposed to believe that Frankenstein’s monster was buried under the O’Malley’s front lawn and now he’s surfacing to wreak havoc on this modest South Buffalo neighborhood? Who buried him? And how? And why? And come on, how dangerous could this creature be up to his neck in earth? I’d wager he’s largely immobile, making the only danger the grabbing of your foot and the biting of your ankle. This is the type of decoration that even Party City should be ashamed of.

If you can help me make sense of this, please do so.

Until then, I say to you producer of this absurd excuse for Halloween adornment, and you, purchaser and displayer of such: boo.

Prepare to have your mind blown, put back together, and blown again.

by matt low

Well here it is, kids. The holy grail of local, low budget, high insanity television spots. I present to you, George’s Appliance of lovely Niagara Falls, USA. I highly recommend “The Truck,” “BREAKING NEWS 'Close Encounter',” and “Stellar Delivery.” (The frazzled lady’s delivery of “And right on time.” makes me want to jump into a pile of gasoline-soaked broken glass.)

Go ahead. Try to make sense of it all. I’m certain your brain will bleed. But know this – George and his crew are certainly having fun.

Jeans are cool.

by matt low

So I was haunted by this spot when it appeared on my television a few weeks back. The raw imagery coupled with the jarring soundtrack makes it nothing less than a gripping piece of art. Then, right at the end, I found out it was for Levi’s. This let me down a bit. But now that I think about it, what logo would have satisfied me in the closing frames of the spot? Ford? Pepsi? Randy McFun’s Funfood Palace and Game Bar? Hardly. So why not good, old fashioned blue jeans? 

Now, this is a serious case of the Mondays.

By Chris Muldoon

We’ve all had awful, terrible, no-good days at work. Maybe you left your delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread sitting on the kitchen counter. Maybe the printer decided to become an evil genius hell-bent on making you feel like an idiot. Maybe your perfectly crafted headline turned out to be cornier than the world’s worst pickup line.

But whatever has happened (or will happen, for that matter) to you while on the job, it can’t be nearly as demoralizing as dispatching a 911 call about your own house burning down. Yes, that really happened. It’s like a twisted episode of Curb your Enthusiasm. Not only that, but one of the responding firefighters was the owner’s cousin. That, my friends, is one of the most unbelievable – and saddest – coincidences of all time.

I guess the moral of the story is all those office oddities could be a lot worse. Keep that in your mind next time someone forgets to refill the coffee pot.

As it turns out, bears will eat mannequins.

by matt low

Has anyone else seen this insane show? Has anyone else been completely unable to turn the channel not just because it’s mesmerizing to see a wild animal attack a dummy but also because there’s that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe the clear plexiglas box will break and the carnivore will be treated to the human dummy inside? No? Me neither.

Best Thing I Found On A Monday.

by Liz Maimone

Nothing ticks me off more than getting to the airport only to find out I have to pay an extra 40 bucks so that my luggage can join me on my trip. Call me crazy, but isn’t that why you buy a ticket in the first place? I guess the $450+ dollars it costs to fly anywhere these days is just to cover my share of air on the plane. I get it, things are bad for the airlines. I mean, you have to be pretty desperate to charge extra for ice. But honestly, it would be so much nicer if they could just rip me off upfront. That way, by the time it comes to check in, I’m over it and I don’t have to be “that guy.” The worst part is I fall for it every time. I sell my soul to Delta for the cheapest seat, only to find out that after all their extra charges at check-in, I could have flown with a better airline that didn’t make me miss my last five connections. I swear this last time was the last time.

Anyway, the whole point of that story was to tell you I like this.